A Look Inside “You Are Not The Boss Of Me”- Chapter 3

February 26, 2021

The words imposed in purple on the chapter page are my present day thoughts and not part of the book. I was a teenager in the 70’s and 80’s, I wonder if things have actually changed or if high school is still a time of young hearts and minds searching to be accepted, respected and loved?





For those beautiful teenagers watching their high school dreams and aspirations crumble during covid, what is your inner genius telling you? What do you dream of doing within the confines of these restrictions? What is your statement? What is the play you dream of directing or acting in for the class of 2020/2021?

Generation Z, be bold and be you, let us hear your voices. I wish I had used mine when I was your age.



A Look Inside – You Are Not The Boss Of Me

February 22, 2021

FC5B07AE-3941-4682-B799-FA244A556DBD This is not just a memoir, it’s a study in perception. A chance to view the world through the mind of another. To ask what would I have done?

We have but one life to live. Do you exchange your soul for  societies approval? OR Do you finally silence the ego and listen to the Spirit within, the Spirit that has known you since birth?

This is my journey to finding my Higher Self, a journey that continues to get better with every lesson learned. I am not a victim, I am a free spirited, resilient and passionate Being of light. I now know without doubt our abundance and joy are found in following the heart and not the ego.

Chapter one and two ( title pages pictured below) are the early years.

The book rotates between past and present with the past in mostly chronological order. The idea of writing poems or prose as an intro to each chapter really did come out of thin air. I believe the majority were written by channeling which at the time was a new revelation for me.




Faith, Featured, Forgiveness, Hope, Love

This House Divided Will Not Stand

January 11, 2021

 We the people, human beings, citizens of the world, are heavily divided. For many of us, the November 3rd US presidential election felt like it represented a final frontier; or at least the last stand for this western civilization as we have known it. It did not matter which side you were on, it was the belief that either victor would be the fall of something. That both sides were equally strong in their beliefs that they stood for good, for love, for righteousness.

There is much discussion about the validity of that election. A smoking gun that is not going away. There is too much at stake to just ignore these accusations. Bring this into the open to be healed or risk being engulfed in flames of rage and fury. You are the great democracy, the flagship of the free world. Will you act in accordance with your principles? Or will you dismiss out of disdain and contempt the voices and concerns of tens of millions of your citizens? The world is watching. If there is no truth to the claims, then why would they not want to show without doubt the credibility of the results?

I am a Canadian. Like Americans, Canadians are not all the same. We are East coasters and West coasters. City folk and Country folk. Rich and poor. Positive and negative. Grateful and ungrateful. Believers and non believers. We are all products of our environment. Taking what we are taught and moving through the world seeing through the lens of what we believe. What we experience and who we meet will validate, change, expand or add to those beliefs. Self awareness and intentional observation create expansive thoughts. It becomes more important to know righteousness then to be right. The knowledge and understanding of truth becomes the hidden treasure, not something to stake a win on but something that brings peace and understanding.

My belief is that scientifically I am made of energy. If all energy has a source I want to discover and tap into that source. I believe my life purpose is to follow the energy of Love, that Love is my source and my spirit. I am happiest when I flow with it, extend it, charge in it. That is todays belief, it comes from within. Only I can come up with the belief that works for me. We all have our own little mystery to unfold. With each new clue we change directions, we see different, we believe different, we evolve. I do not believe all the same ideas I believed 20 years ago, it was new puzzle pieces that changed my landscape. So evolution is at play in our world today. A turning point is at hand. What do we believe in? What can we believe in together? Where is our common ground?

The USA was created on principles. Your constitution was a vision of a better world. A free world. A world of hope and opportunity for all people. Is that not beautiful? We The People is such an incredible declaration. Not Wethe Kings and Queens. Not Wethe tyrants. Not Wethe elites but We the People. Now, either you have forgotten or your hearts have changed. Now you stand for your divisions. Identity politics, us vs them. You have lost the WE. Not just you of course, we all have.

Some think the answer lies in a global reset. One world government. I have no say or control over this, so I watch. I watch what is happening in the backyard of my neighbour to the south of me, you hold the hammer. Whats it going to be? A world with many ports for our hearts desire, or assimilation under one rule with no God? Your country does not just get overthis. Right or wrong, which is of course perspective. Right or wrong your healing will never happen without change and forgiveness. You have been dismissing and bullying and contemptuously degrading each other for far too long. We all have. Whether it was planned, instigated or organic does not matter. What matters is will you create an all inclusive vision of tomorrow or will you choose rule by force? I do not think you are the same country tomorrow. The question becomes what will you be? Do you shine the light on what has happened and seek truth with an intent to correct? Or do you continue to divide and separate?

Republicans and Democrats want many of the same things for their children. They want their children to be happy and healthy. They want them to be safe. To be knowledgeable, to have a passion, something that sparks joy. They want them to be kind and caring and many other wonderful things. But then comes religion and politics. Class warfare, culture, judgments. It is most often the judgments that creates our pain and gratitude that relieves it. Our judgments on what someone else thinks and does when we would be so much happier if we focused on our own knitting and created our own joy. I suppose we could argue that point. Its a pretty benign discussion so chances are we would find common ground.

Unlike if we chose to discuss your President Trump or past President Trump. That would be an argument of opinions and a conversation without value. At least as far as what it is we would be trying to accomplish. Such a conversation holds only one intention, the satisfaction of the ego. Who is right and who is wrong. A conversation of which there can be no ending. The goal of establishing right and wrong for the satisfaction of the ego will never accomplish what it sets out to do. A conversation however that sets out to establish a solution is one worth having. It is here that we can work toward a common goal. It is here where the ego loses its grip on our senses and our heart mind becomes the director.

I am choosing this. Choosing to seek only enlightenment. Arguing in the cesspool makes no sense to me anymore, it just makes me ill. It creates stress and it divides in ways that destroy our joy. Creating a vision, the search for common ground, this is where solutions and peace will be found. Not trying to control another by force. Not out screaming and slandering. Not holding each other in contempt.

Do you ever stop and wonder what is happening within our hearts? When did the rules of war and battle take precedence over the rule of heart, of what it means to be a loving sentient being? This is not who we are, we are better than this. This is not an evolved society, this is mob rule. Century upon century of trying to control. When do we get it right? When do we follow our hearts, forgive and start working together? When do we stop listening to those who wish to divide us? Those who want us at war and keep us in the dark are the ones who enjoy the spoils of war. Establishing a new way where everyone wins and no one need suffer involves focusing on solutions not divisions.

This new world that is upon us. It could be so beautiful. Food, shelter, hope for everyone. An offering and opportunity of abundance. Free Will, free will to love and create as we were meant to. Something I have loved all of my life. A reminder that we are one consciousness, that when you hurt so do I. When you suffer, so do I. When you know joy and Love, so do I. Its a statement that resonates with me, its very American and incredibly wise and beautiful. It starts out We The People……..It offers hope and it believes in happiness. Attach that document to the energy of Love. Unconditional, non judgmental, kind, caring and forgiving. Add the free will, listen to each other with an intent to solve rather than a desire to win and be right. The world is watching, the world is waiting on you, the great hope, the epitome of freedom and democracy. The land where We The People……..said we will not be ruled over by the material man anymore. Enlightenment. The vision of what is possible when you unite under Truth and Love.

Faith, Featured, Forgiveness, Hope, Love

Did We Forget?

October 23, 2020

When I created this banner last April I never dreamed we would have come this far in relinquishing our freedoms. I honestly believed we would see through the machinations of fear. I thought the lessons of Hitler and WW2 would have been enough to keep us vigilant whilst we stood on guard for freedom. But fear is powerful and hard to recognize under its cloak of deceit.

As time brings us closer to Remembrance Day, I find my heart filling with remorse. They fought for our freedom and we have not honoured our promise to maintain and protect it. I have begun to wonder why people bought poppies for all of these years: Was it just for appearances? Why have we stood in silence honouring those that risked and lost their lives for our freedom if we do not cherish it? I guess it is perception. I guess all these years as I stood in silence my mind was filled with thoughts that were different from others. There is no blame in that statement, no right or wrong, it is simply the freedom of acknowledging truth. We all perceive the world through our own lens. I thought freedom was something that stirred and mattered in all of our hearts. I thought exacting power and control over others by force was what we fought against, not what we celebrated. 


You have the right to choose, the right to your own self determination, your own autonomy. In the context of so many of your favourite causes you would agree with that statement. Be it woman’s rights, your body, gender preference or loving who you love. So how can it be that those who so strongly believe in freedom of choice just placed a caveat upon it. A caveat that stipulates only if they agree with or care about the issue. Perhaps it is not freedom of choice but rather a world where everyone lives according to the same beliefs. A strange kind of world where we celebrate diversity and culture because we are not racists, but we abhor thought that does not go along with our own.

Where have we seen that world before? What could possibly go wrong when one segment of society determines the highest good for all? Was it kindness or arrogance that created the residential schools in Canada? Was it prudence or fear that made us build internment camps? While today we are building government isolation centres and stocking up on riot gear do you not wonder if we will ever evolve? When will we ever learn? Every atrocity and every war stems from our desire to exact power and control over another. We are reacting to fear. It is why we want power.

It is said, a  house divided will not stand. We are so terribly divided right now and our house is risking collapse if we do not find common ground. Or do you not want that? Do I no longer matter because my beliefs are in opposition to yours? Does the collapse of this house appeal to you? Once again, there is no judgment, no right and wrong. You keep choosing to judge me and never to hear me. I just ask you understand what our collapse means. We may not all survive it. I don’t want to see you suffer, I hope you feel the same for me.

The March of the Mask

The March of the Mask

I have a child’s wooden shoe that my Grandfather brought home from the Netherlands at the end of WW2. I keep wondering why I hold onto that shoe. The horrors behind it represents the pain of millions of souls. Maybe in some ways that shoe represented my Grandfathers holiness to me.That child who died in the streets was his reason for fighting, he was willing to give up his life to stop the evil that would harm our children. Barely outside of childhood himself when he went to war. That shoe also represents our brokenness, our fearfulness each time we point that gun at our brothers and sisters.

And there is the answer to my discomfort. I want to hold the world in contempt for what we have done. For spitting on their graves and saying our freedom does not matter. My Grandfather and his brothers and sisters, they faced real fear. They faced grenades and tanks and guns. They faced cold and disease. They faced hatred and evil. They faced all these things for our right to live in freedom. And now I am told freedom does not matter. I am told a flu like virus is apocalyptic and nothing I hold sacred matters. Yet the casualties of the battle cry far far outweigh the threat for the overwhelming majority of the population. We are destroying our country, our freedom and our children’s future over a narrative that never materialized. Yet people keep clinging to it even though we can see the monster is just a shadow of our fear. 


I don’t have the pedigree to satisfy your judgment of me. But I hold a vision and I see another  way. It involves truth and forgiveness, a whole lot of forgiveness. It means we stop arguing in the cesspool and we start building in the light. We focus on solutions that speak for everyone. We focus on hope and possibilities. Dreams like maybe less consumerism, less stuff but also fewer working hours. More time for personal fulfillment, for our children, for helping others. More walks in nature so we need less medication. Less divisiveness and judgment between secular and faithful and more seeking to understand. Listening to and following our higher selves. What about seeking truth instead of victory. What about gratitude instead of entitlement. What if we worried less about what our neighbours did wrong and focused on cleaning up our own back yards? Dreams, these are just some of my dreams. They are not things for me to force upon another, they are part of a conversation. They are just dreams, visions and ideas. They are creations and they are my purpose. To create from love not react to fear.


Please, buy the poppy because they deserve to be honoured and never forgotten. But before  you place it on your breast, ask yourself if you want the next generation to be able to live as freely as you have. Choose wisely for there are children who need us to start putting them first. Children who have borne the brunt of our fears. Todays seniors were the children of those who fought Hitler. They have benefited from those freedoms all their lives. Don’t let that legacy end with them suffering in loneliness and their grandchildren and great grandchildren sacrificing their childhoods and their future on an altar of fear. The experts were completely wrong in their apocalyptic predictions about the disease: But the propagandists were bang on in their assessment of our behaviour when motivated by fear.

Oh Canada, are you still the true north strong and free? Is anyone still standing on guard for thee? 


Coronavirus: A Gateway to Freedom and the “New” New World

July 28, 2020
The March of the Mask
         To some of us, Coronavirus measures are a form of Conscription into a war we do not believe in. We did not want to enlist in this battle. It is not that the threat was not plausible, but rather the measures were disproportionate to what was tangible. If one case created this threat, how does a world of almost 8 billion isolate this down to extinction? I understood the demands on healthcare but for people like me, there were not enough facts to justify the actions. Also for people like me, freedom is synonymous with being alive.
In Canada, far more lives are severely impacted by alcohol abuse. Over 19% of Canadians describe themselves as heavy drinkers, We have over 15,000 deaths and 90,000 hospital admissions directly related to alcohol abuse every single year. Compared to 8900 Corona deaths that is a staggering number. And yet we still consume and sell alcohol. We still accept every young person is going to try it, even knowing it is a game of Russian roulette. To compare the death toll in Canada to the USA, we are roughly 10% of their size. That would extrapolate to 150,000 alcohol related deaths, yet their estimated annual alcohol related deaths is at 88,000.  That is still an extremely concerning number but it certainly shows Canada has a problem. Alcohol abuse is growing in both countries, accumulating more lives every single year. Where are the cries for prohibition?…….No worries, I am a free willer, I am not starting a movement.
We know that stress, unhealthy eating and lack of exercise are common factors in being afflicted with heart disease, stroke, diabetes, cancer etc. Yet still we take our chances. There is a significantly greater likelihood of death by any one of the above then there is from the virus. The vast majority of us have control over all of these things within our own choices. The strange part is, many of us never choose to exercise our free will in these areas. Instead we opt for a magic pill to save us if need be. 
And this is what drives those of us who value freedom crazy. There is so much we can do to take responsibility for our own lives and actions. Yet todays common wisdom or lack of, is that people feel entitled to have everyone else be responsible for their health and happiness. This is, and always should have been about extending assistance, support and resources to those at risk and those that felt at risk. That is how we act with compassion and kindness. Not by force but by natural human empathy. Not by demanding one portion of society pay dearly to alleviate the fears of the other. 
While some people are at home enjoying extended paid vacations, or isolating without physical, financial or emotional concerns: Others are losing life, home, businesses and retirement savings. Where is the compassion for them? Do their lives not matter? Many do not want sympathy and charity, they want their right to self determination.
If you really want to try and grasp the great divide of the mask, the lockdown or the threat of mandatory vaccination you have to be willing to remember the mindset of the early settlers in North America. They came here to be free of British rule or other forms of oppression in their native homes.
Now 250-400 years ago, immigrating to the USA or Canada, “The New World”,  was not like it is today. You did not purchase a ticket on your preferred mode of transportation. You did not have the perfect job lined up and you did not have the excitement of house hunting for the dream home most appealing to your dharma.
What you did have was a desperate desire to be free and own your own property. They were tired of living in serfdom and wanted the right to self determination. Some people headed to the promised land to avoid incarceration or a death sentence. Some had an overwhelming sense of adventure, they were willing to die for their thrill seeking. In those days people were willing to die just to actually live. 
Their adventure began with avoiding disease at sea, capsizing in extreme weather, running into uncharted shoals. Should they survive the trip and make it to land; they had to contend with clearing forests with hand tools, building shelter, finding food, and unforgiving winters. Chances are their travel companions were not always aware of the golden rule. Life was a different type of fear back then, it was called survival and you had to always be on guard.
Today however, with diversity, education and information sharing, a new North American is being crafted. What we once celebrated as desirous has come to represent medievalist behaviour in the eyes of the new guard. As the new conspire to hurry the change, we “Free Willers” are reeling in shock. If we are not stunned by the lines being crossed, then we are crying over what we once cherished being considered disposable. If we are not crying we are angry or worse yet, numb. Although open to change in the form of compassion, health and knowledge: Freedom is still the basis of our identity. We are the true believers in Live and let Live, a philosophy the world desperately needs right now. 
We don’t march in parades telling people what to think, but we do stand up in the moment when integrity and courage are called for. We don’t tear down another’s house for their thoughts. We don’t wish harm to those we disagree with. We are charitable in our acceptance of another’s right to choose. 
Every generation has their meddlers and controllers, every one of us has been guilty from time to time of being one. The world of today however, seems to hold the need to control others as a virtue and not see it as the weakness it truly is. Our need to control another is the dark shadow of fear operating within us.  

When we try and dismiss each other’s voices then we stoke the fire. The answer to heal the divide is not in determining who is right; it is in establishing a mutually appealing vision of what is right for all of us. It is inclusive and respectful. When people are being asked to suffer at the expense of the others security or desires, then it is not the right vision.

If the “American Empire” is to survive and not be a footnote like the Roman Empire then a “New” New World must be considered. The one thing the early settlers had in common was a vision of freedom, self determination and a commonality in faith. If you think about the founding principles of most countries, they were united in faith. The division in America may look political but the theology vs secular component is often the root cause.
 According to the late Dr. Alexander Tyler who published the Athenian Republic, the worlds greatest civilizations only last around 200 years. He penned the 8 cycles of democracy to describe the phases. The order he lists is.
  1. From bondage to Spiritual faith
  2. From spiritual faith to great courage
  3. From courage to liberty
  4. From liberty to abundance
  5. From abundance to selfishness
  6. From selfishness to apathy
  7. From apathy to dependence 
  8. From dependency back into bondage.                                                              
It feels to me like we are sitting in position number 8- From dependency back into bondage. I am a great believer in choosing how we perceive things, so although bondage Feels like a form of torture to me; the idea that I might witness the beginning of the cycle from bondage to spiritual faith holds appeal. We have an opportunity to create an even better world.  My hopes are on the new age spiritual faith movement that has been seeded over the past couple of decades. It allows for all faith within a common theme of the golden rule, love and unity. We are all unique individuals but our paradise is found in hope and opportunity for all. This is where America either heals with a new vision or implodes in its division.
Spirituality is the journey to the higher self. It embraces science and faith and is open to all forms of religion and faith based learning. We are energy beings. Spirituality seeks to uncover the source of that energy. We are born with intuition, a sixth sense that offers wisdom we can access. Spirituality desires to strengthen and evolve in a world of endless possibilities. Operating from a heart centred, peaceful, victimless, position of personal choice and responsibility. Not self centred and materialistic, but kind, loving and wisdom seeking.


The way to that paradise is through forgiveness. Forgiving the past and moving forward in trust and abundance for all people. I see this as a time where we stop the insanity of doing the same things over and over and seek a new solution. We have been following and sharing our anger and resentments. We are filled with victimhood or guilt and shame. We are falling into the abyss of the virus of fear. It is eating away at us from within. We can keep feeding on that stuff or we could choose to create a vision instead.
The world is way out of balance right now. In energy healing terms, of which science concludes we are made of energy: We need to get our chakras back into alignment. Let’s focus on opening up that crown chakra to a loving world of abundance, hope and possibilities for everyone. We Free Willers are easy to work with. We love truth and aspire for the best possible outcome for all.

The Treasures You Seek

July 18, 2020
You matter to me.
For you are me and I am you.
Our interaction no matter how short in time, 
is a part of our learning journey.
We will depart changed in thought from when we met.
Even if just by one stitch.


When I look at you, 
And you look at me.
We will note the colour of each other’s skin, the clothes we wear.
There is no good, bad or anything in our pigments or our garments:
Only in our judgments. 


My life, my journey, my learnings.
Your life, your journey, your learnings.
Will we share or will we opine and discriminate.
Your smile and open heart, my smile and open heart.
This is the foundation of relationships.


Every meeting, every moment:
This is where change occurs.
If we put a wall between those hearts,
Then our fear will grow.
If we trust without barriers,
Then our love will expand.


Until we forgive the stories of our past:
We will carry the weight of our ancestral battles into tomorrow.
The heaviness of victimhood, guilt and shame.
Until we correct any negative narratives in our thoughts:
We will hold our differences in contempt.
We will find exactly what we went forward seeking.


Go forward seeking only love from every encounter; 
And you will be rewarded with love.
Seek to do battle and do not be surprised when you find one.
Before you go out on your adventure into the world:
Choose wisely the treasures you are seeking. 




Faith, Featured, Higher Power, Hope, Love

Love Made Tangible

May 29, 2020
Sunrise on the St. Lawrence river. May 29, 2020

A small snippet from my labour of love play:  The Wino, The Witch and The Writer.

This is an abridged version of Love Made Tangible

If there is nothing more, then we are nothing more. We are nothing!
 How can it be anything else?
How can it be just an overwhelming collection of stuff? A walk in a Forrest of Fear.
Will I lose this?  Will I miss this?  Will I not be well?
What if? Oh, how I despise what if’s!
 The party is wonderful until the money and wine run out. When the body screams no more and the mind is mangled and twisted in knots of guilt and apprehension. Fear that tomorrow will be something, something other than what we directed. And it will, for we have no control.
No control over the weather, over the elements. No control over the unexpected events.  
 Them, those people that ruined it, those people who did not walk and behave as they were directed, expected. They should have known better, they should have listened, they should have followed our lead.
 How can it be anything else? If there is nothing more than why bother?
Why care how I got stuff?
Why care who I hurt, because you said it was wrong?
If there is nothing more, then tomorrow is nothing but another day to gather more stuff.
Another day to blame “them”.
If there is nothing more, then life is a race shaped by past and future years and not as present and eternal.
 NO! I am alive and I am a brilliant energy!
I am dizzy with a desire to touch and breathe and see and taste.
I am alive and I will to give this gift of all gifts the honour it deserves.
I am alive and I can take each mind-altering emotion and immerse my soul into its lesson.
I am alive and my goal, of all goals, beyond any possession or moment of fame fortune and glory, beyond all else is to embrace Love.
To embrace, know, be, give, immerse and lie in this thing called Love.
I am alive and while I have this gift of life on earth,
I am Love made tangible.

Our intentions are pure

May 13, 2020

Until someone chooses to look within, their life will remain a travesty. A series of unfair and cruel events. Moments of happiness and joy, surrounded by dullness and duty. A repetitive cycle of doing and being done to. Void of inspired creation and knowledge. They will miss the unspoken beauty in this gift of life and never find meaning. They will spend their days reacting and never find their purpose in their creations.
Authors opinion? Of course, but the opinion of one who has walked in many shoes and experienced a gamut of emotions and life. I have made life changing mistakes that led to powerful epiphanies. Events large enough to shatter ones will to keep going, followed by miracles that left me standing in awe of life’s offerings. This is not to say I have drank from every cup and played every note; rather I have followed enough fear, known enough pain and lived enough chaos to recognize the patterns. 
I have fallen and risen on my own until all that could save me was Divine intervention. I clawed and fought my way through darkness; bruised, angry and lost…..helpless. Always refusing to let go of what I thought was right, but which was in fact holding me down. Until I discovered the truth. I saw my real enemy was my own shadow. What was tracking me, haunting me was not the monster before my eyes, it was always the handicap of inner blindness that creates the illusion of darkness. I was given the opportunity to let go of the fear that had been learned, and begin anew in the light of what I desired. True connection and pure love. You are not my enemy, what you do, you do for you. Sometimes guided by fear as I had been guided by fear. Fighting to fill the hole within you as I was also striving  to fill the emptiness. 
We are not born in darkness, we are brought into the light. The darkness comes when we continuously feed the needs of the ego and ignore the soul. Instant gratification, acceptance, respect, love but not love in its purest of forms; rather love in appearance not depth. We are taught to search for our needs outside ourselves instead of filling our cup within. When we search within, we find the truth of who we are and the answer to our needs. We find our owners manual, our operating system. The more we come to understand ourselves, the easier it becomes to navigate through life’s emotional currents. 
The heart and mind that have connected with their soul are not at the mercy of the opinion of others. You come to know outside influences have no power over you unless you allow for such fear. When your heart beats in connection with your breath of life; you are moving in sync with the spirit of your creation. You instinctively know and recognize fear. Your awareness allows you the choice to not let fear be your guide. You have protection and access to all truth and wisdom when you remain connected to the Divine love within. Connected to the source of your energy. The actions of others do not dictate your feelings, you do. You become aware that all the power you need is within. The power and control over your own thoughts and actions.
Imagine living without fear? Knowing that irregardless of the swirling winds of change around you, you will land where you are meant to be. It is a thought process that changes absolutely everything. You cannot prove this untrue, but I can prove that choosing to live under that belief will remove fear and bring peace of mind. You will not suffer beyond what you choose to suffer from. The outside circumstances may be terrible, but the inner wisdom will guide you through it if you can learn to trust and believe. When you know without an ounce of fears doubt, that everything happens for you and not to you: Then everything that is placed before you becomes a gift. There are no coincidences, only sign posts and messages. Love abounds. 


The spiritual journey is about knowledge and learning to love. When we come to accept and love our unique and limitless selves, we learn to allow and truly love others. The world becomes like sunlight dancing on the water. A united powerful body glistening with billions of individual sparkles. Tiny lights dancing with unabashed joy unhindered by judgment. Brilliant energy in constant flow. A pictorial metaphor for the potential of the human spirit united in love.



Don’t let fear dictate what makes you happy

I am not just choosing, I am compelled to share what years of dancing with  fear has taught me. What I have lived and read and consumed through others.  What I have spent so much time pondering. I did not consciously choose to become an expert in the actions of fear, my journey chose it for me.   I finally saw fears slight of hand. I know how the tricks are performed and how the illusions are created. And I know how deceitful and hard to recognize fear can be; because fear once owned almost every part of me. 



Fear has many disguises that it will use to create disharmony. Doubt, anger, resentments, low self esteem, the need to control, mistrust, guilt, shame. Fear creates the battle ground. The perceived threat and the call to unjust action. Your soul knows when your actions are wrong, when mistakes have been made. It will whisper to you lovingly and softly. But fear is loud and speaks with urgency. Fear is formidable by design; so you cannot easily see through its facade. It would rather help you find ways to justify errors then take responsibility or admit to a mistake. It convinces you that mistakes are worthy of punishment. That even though you have never encountered a situation, being wrong is unforgivable. Fear wills to keep the battle raging so you cannot find enough peace and stillness to hear your inner wisdom and know its sanctuary. So truth cannot find its way to your stream of consciousness.
In the material world without faith: Fear would have you hold your brothers and sisters in contempt while you are the one wielding the sword around their heads. Fear will have you convinced that the unthinkable is acceptable because you are right, that you are only defending and have no other recourse. Fear will allow you to dismiss another’s rights and life as inconsequential because they do not value your needs as much as you value your needs. Fear will blind you, it always has and it always will until you are willing to face the truth. It is you that gave fear its power, because you have no faith in the actions of love. Because you have no faith in who you are. 
You give lip service to the world you desire to live in. A world of love and peace, of respect and honour. A world where no one need suffer, go hungry, or be alone. You could have that world if you were willing to have faith and let go of control. But you are not content with that world when it is offered, you want the one that is built the way you would build it.  The one that you control and the one that revolves around your beliefs, needs and demands. It’s a grown up version of barbies where everyone thinks and behaves as you would have them. Everyone is happy, because everything works out as you directed. It is your lack of perceived control that haunts you and leaves you empty. You are always empty because things do not materialize as you would have them. Your lack of vision makes you ungrateful, for you have no substance in what you seek. Your lack of faith, lack of willingness to search within and meet your soul. Your spirit of truth and love. You will do anything not to have to face that truth. That life could be something other than what you dictate it must be.
Without letting go of the need to control, you will always be led by fear. To learn to accept life as it plays out, that is where real peace is found. To accept the gifts in the form they are offered and not as you would have them is where true happiness lies. To love, to learn to truly love is to learn to allow. To meet someone and see the beauty within, to stand in their energy and know the magnificent and brilliant life force that is shining beneath the surface. It is a world of magical possibilities when we choose to look deeper. When we choose to accept without judgment. To allow; to know that we all make mistakes but we are all worthy of love. It is the lack of knowing love within that creates the environment for hate to manifest. Love is continuously extended through giving and receiving, when that chain is broken in one of us, it impacts all of us. It interrupts the flow of the river. 
You think we are at war, that our differences are irreconcilable. We exchange talking points but never hear one another. We are both convinced we are in the right, that our position is one of logic and compassion. What we cannot comprehend is how the other could possibly think what it is they think. That is where our blindness leads us astray. We do not take the time to put ourselves in their position. We do not try to understand why one would believe different than ourselves. And even when we do, we dismiss their stance as being wrong regardless, because we know better. We were taught or learned the correct way.

What if we were both right? What if the problem had nothing to do with the tools we were fighting over? That we were both using the correct tools for the job. Our real problem was  one of us had plans for building a steel temple, and the other had blue prints for a wooden church. We never communicated a combined vision, we never discussed our desires and we never took into consideration the needs, beliefs and lives of all concerned. 

A Course In Miracles teaches that Every single problem has a solution where no one need suffer at the expense of another. If they do, than it is not the solution. I take that lesson into every dispute and chaotic situation I encounter. Without fail I have discovered the problem is never what the argument is about and the answer is never found in the fog of the battlefield. To rise above is to seek truth. To look again from a different perspective. To seek truth is to love and have compassion for all life. 
Living without fear is as simple as choosing to not follow negative thoughts. Choosing to remove yourself from situations where fear is being promoted. Choosing to stand up against fear. Speak out against harsh words and judgments. It is not being willfully blind, it is willfully choosing to live in a world guided by love. Love as your guide, your internal compass. What that looks like to you, is what makes it your journey. You are a unique soul within a powerful body of love. An energy that is connected to all life with its own unique part to play. Your emptiness is filled when you begin to recognize and embrace you have a purpose.



Should you choose to embark on a journey to love; if you commit to it, you will never go back to easily following fear. You will begin to discover parts of you forgotten, discarded or perhaps never known. You will begin to discover increased courage and empathy. You will begin to understand how empowering it is to let go of the need for control. How trust and forgiveness are enlightening and freeing. Your heart will feel light where it once was heavy. You will begin to easily make decisions and know they came from your higher self. You will act and live without regret. Guilt and shame will no longer follow; as you no longer let fear lead. You will learn the beauty of living in the moment and let go of the pain from the past and the anxiety of tomorrow. Judgment and punishment will hold no value for you. You will see past the fear that holds people in contempt and gravitate to the love that changes lives. You will come to know there is nothing in this world worth anything if it is not love. The fear of death disappears when you connect to the guidance of your soul. You do not desire death, but you do not wish to waste any of life’s precious moments under the direction of fear. You will stop seeking control to change others, and you will understand all of the control you ever needed was to change what needs to change within. 
You were given free will for jurisdiction over your own actions. That choice and the air you breathe are the only entitlements born unto you. They are all you need to carve out the adventure of your dreams.  Do you follow fear and try to direct and control everything to suit your needs? To have everything just so for you? Or do you follow love and know the cycle of your life will unfold as it was meant to? A world where everything is happening for you and not to you. You are exactly where you are meant to be right now. There is nothing that cannot be forgiven and that love cannot heal. 
The war is never about the issue at hand. The war always begins when we seek control outside ourselves. When we feel threatened and seek safety and security where it does not exist. War will always permeate in a world without faith. The answer is not hidden, it rests openly in front of us. When we forgive and learn to trust. When we stop giving in to the demands of fear. We will finally come together in love and build that world of hope and possibilities. We will finally understand what it means to be made of energy. An energy that can move seamlessly and joyfully in unison when it looks to its source for answers. The spirit, the soul, the love within.