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Fear Is The Monster! We Are Love: Not Fear.

June 10, 2021
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Fear Is The Monster! We Are Love: Not Fear.

The discovery of a grave containing the bodies of 215 Indigenous children has played heavy on the hearts and minds of all Canadians. To me, there is nothing more sacred than the life of a child. The actions, the cover ups and the why are finally being recognized and discussed.  Due to the passage of time, much will never be known and of course perception from a different generation makes for a very questionable jury.

Fear can make good people do and try to justify terrible things. Closed minded marriages to institutions and ideologies makes us prisoners of ignorance. We will always fall on the evil we try to hide. It is time for the Catholic Church and all other churches where they have been complicit to face their own hypocrisy. In the words of Jesus in Luke 12- “Beware of the Leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known.” It does not matter if their very existence is at stake, the church has no standing if it continues to fail the very heart of Christianity by withholding truths and covering up or ignoring “misguided” actions. 

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There is no Christianity without The Christ who taught Love and relationships. He never demanded adherence through force and His teachings of sowing seeds, non judgment and forgiveness bears no resemblance to controlling and fearful kingdoms of deception. What form of Christianity were they teaching these children? Certainly in torture and judgment not one that looked anything like the ministry of Jesus whose teachings included dire warnings against those who would bring harm to a child. To ignore this? 

The inescapable irony (if I may use that word here) being our own self righteous elitism that felt these children equally born to Spirit were in need of our “superior wisdom and cultured morality.”  At the end of the day, we now see through the lens of history the ones in need of spiritual saving were not the little ones they were trying to convert, it was the learned ones trying to control the beliefs and lives of another. They were not sowing seeds of hope and love, they were planting fear and exacting control.  

In our careless assumptions and lack of trust in each other we frame these acts as being about race and religion. Woven throughout history Black and White, French and English, German and Jew, Irish and Protestant. There is no lack of racial and religious history for us to war over. They might all look a little different but they are all the same. They are all fear. Forever and eternity our atrocities and genocides will continue until we stand together and face the monster that is fear. When we finally forgive, love and trust each other we stop trying to control. Our faith in our goodness sets us free from false narratives. 

We must be careful not to judge our ancestors too harshly or lay any merciless guilt upon our nation. Colonization was all we knew and as a collective we probably saw residential schools as being a kind act of assimilation into what we blindly believed to be  a more Civilized and altruistic society. What we see today is not the outcome anyone anticipated. In todays light our ancestors were terribly wrong. However we advance through trial and error and hindsight is 2020. Today our vision is not clouded with yesterdays fear. We are not fighting the same imaginary narratives or standing in our ancestors shoes where life was a constant battle of survival. I am not excusing the actions but I am forgiving my ancestors for what they did not know.

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 Todays battle with fear is in plain sight for those who choose to look. The Covid response with the implementation of mandatory mask wearing and coercive immunization is a prime example of the power of fear. The emergency measures, heavy handed monitoring and public shaming will be judged in the future. Will this be a shining moment in world unity and science saving humanity? Or will they condemn us for the unintended consequences of our actions against a false or manufactured crisis?  Will the science save us or is it the most damaging experiment ever enacted in human history?  Who will be the monster and who the victim? What monster will they blame for this atrocity? Who is the Us or Them that history will look upon? Will the monsters be those that complied or those who stood up? Like our ancestors we are following the directives of elites. Today we are swirling in the eye of the storm. We are blind to the truth because once again we chose not to face fear. In the future when history judges us it will be without fear writing the 6 O:Clock news. Without the perception of fear, the truth will be sitting in plain sight. Of course, if we choose to continue holding onto our ideologies at the expense of truth, the damage will continue to mount and our days in the sun will continue to be prolonged.

Three wise monkeys encourage us to see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil. Change evil to fear and try to comprehend how over zealously spreading fear has impacted all of our lives, especially our children. For the sake of our joy we must stop giving fear centre stage. Why can’t we focus on our happiness, hope and possibilities. We need to have more faith in that which is pure and holy, to actually understand what that means with out cringing in religious fear. To know and understand the undeniable power of Love to fix our differences and heal our own mind, body and soul. Maybe it is time for the Academics, scientists and political elite to invite a carpenter to the table? 

Nothing changes if nothing changes! Maybe if we stopped following the laws of false idols and started following the laws of the Universe we would truly begin to see the light. What we give we receive. What we teach we learn. What we seek we will find. Dare I believe things are starting to change? Are people starting to question, are they beginning to ask themselves if there really is more to their life than the accumulation of money, work, rinse and repeat?

We can continue with the insanity of doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different result. We can continue to follow Fear as we have always done by controlling, punishing, blaming and hating. Or; we could try allowing and understanding and accepting and believing and loving. As I learned through an incredulous intervention “Be Still, and know.” We are safe, we are cared for, we are loved. It is only when we give the snake in the grass our ear that we find ourselves reacting to fear instead of creating in love. 

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My love and healing energy to all of my brothers and sisters in our Indigenous communities.  I pray that one day soon we will finally learn and be able to forgive: Forgive our history, our present and each other. To move forward in truth without yesterdays dark shadows. How much deeper will we love each other when all hate and control and darkness are behind us?  Love is always the answer. Love is always our greatest hope. May those 215 innocent souls guide us into the very heart of Spirit, the home from which we all came and the home we will always share.  

Faith, Featured

Birthing God

May 18, 2021
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I have not been sick in over 7 years. I choose not to allow my ego to walk me down that path of emotional disappointment manifesting into illness. I focus my thoughts on being grateful for my health and imagine my mind healing whatever might need attention. I discovered the more I say I don’t get sick the stronger my body feels. It likes those words and so do I.

I try to ignore the sky is falling chatter and pursue my birthright. I want to experience the love, joy and happiness that life has to offer. I am learning the brilliance in adhering to the laws of the Universe. By healing myself and facing fear I remove some darkness and restore some light to this world. I would imagine we all desire to live in our highest vibration with life force energy abound. I cannot help but believe we are united on this front.

Where we become separated is over taking action while ignoring intentions. We are oblivious to the fact we are holding different blueprints while we try to agree on the right tools to fix our world. We are in disbelief that the other cannot comprehend our logic. “How can they not see ours is the better way”? Often times we feel ours is the only way. And it is the only way when holding and studying our own blueprints. My blueprints, however, are very different than yours. Mine are made to assist me in finding my joy and discovering my soul purpose. To help me reach my highest self. Yours are made for your journey. Our blueprints are not interchangeable; they are specifically engineered to the individual. As I like to say, they are Divinely inspired perfection.

We often believe we are searching for truth when in reality we are seeking relief from our fear or justification for our actions. We do not trust and we do not see past the walls we have constructed to keep each other from seeing inside. Why? Because we do not love and respect our own worthiness. Many unconsciously build their lives around the opinion of others. I only feel I am good when you love and respect me. That is why I must win, I must be right, I must be kind, I must say the right words and do the right things. This wall was built to keep you from seeing anything beyond what I think you think is good about me. Meanwhile it is our souls crying out for our own love and acknowledgment, not anyone else’s.

To heal our divisions we need to accept each others perspective on the meaning of life. Some of us are following society’s laws and some adhere to the Laws of the Universe. These rules and beliefs collide as they represent two completely different worlds. The Universe made from love and light places truth and knowledge at the forefront of its “Why”. Society made from fear and the ego does not understand the difference between right and righteous. Society seeks control of what it fears where the Universe seeks expansion of what it is. Society reacts where the Universe creates. Societies “Why” is about victimhood and “Why”me. It’s about being done “to” as opposed to done “for”. The Universe is about gratitude and Why Not? It’s about abundance and exacting control over self not others. The Universe asks us to try and overcome the ego. Society is the ego and promises banishment, loneliness and shame to those who question its authority.

 

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“The cost of giving is receiving” is a quote from A Course In Miracles. It is brilliant and speaks truth to so many different issues. The more grateful I am, the more I have to be grateful for. The more gratitude I express for my health, the more energy and better health I experience. The more gratitude I express for my food and shelter, the more satisfying and beautiful my home becomes. The more gratitude I extend in my relationships, the more loving and pleasing and trusting they become. In every single encounter if I set the right intention of respect or love or safety or whatever it is I desire, that expression will come back to me. “The cost of giving is receiving”.

The pursuit of happiness is deeply personal. There is no shame in seeking fulfilment. In fact how can we say we are living if we are not embracing that life force energy within? In losing all that society had to offer me, I discovered what it means to truly love. When the walls and the armour were removed, in the vulnerable nakedness I found the treasures I had spent a lifetime searching for.

I used to believe we all had a purpose that involved sacrifice or some offering to the world. I now see my purpose is to heal my relationship with myself and in doing so I heal my relationship with others. We unite in our healing and love, we separate in our sickness and fear.

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A few months ago while reading the story of Genesis I had an epiphany. What if we were never physically removed from the garden of Eden? What if we closed ourselves off with a barrier built out of our guilt and shame for listening to the snake. The snake in the grass being the ego that is full of fear. Do I listen to the snakes lies about my brothers and sisters? Do I doubt myself and fall into helpless victimhood? The snakes marketing plan to try and take power and control from God was such a childish act of jealousy. Every day I have that choice, today do I follow my ego the snake?

 

Or do I awaken and hand my life over to the promise I was given from a loving God that said go play, learn, enjoy, love and unite with your friends. You are safe! I give you everything, you have nothing to worry about? Do I Learn, grow and evolve in peace or do I carry a sword slashing in anger at the inequity of it all? The ultimate victimhood, the ultimate insult. I am not God. When ironically the truth is, we are God. As we unite, as we forgive, as we extend only love we are in fact birthing the God within ourselves. We become our souls purpose, we become God, we become Love made tangible. Can you see and feel that promise? Made from Love, to extend love and become the vibration of love in a tangible form where we express the incredulous through the sensuous.

Featured, Forgiveness, Higher self, Hope, Love, Red Button

Only Love Lives In This House

April 7, 2021
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C17CF5D4-6E69-4EDC-B252-9BAFF013E85FDo you hear that voice?

It is your soul talking.

Heed it now.

It is no longer whispering.

Our children need us.

They are crying.

Heed them now.

It’s time to wake up.

Fear has entered.

like an odourless gas it permeates our homes.

Heed your soul now.

We must Awaken and save our children.

Fear has lied to us,

Be brave and face her. 

Her power is a false facade,

You need only say no.

No to the ego that desires adherence.

No to society’s demands of compliance.

No to all of fears threats of exile.

Open your heart to the power of your love.

Free the children.

Unbind them from fears clutches.

All our children,

Free them now.

They have voices that are not being heard.

Cries that are being dismissed.

Calls for love that we ignore.

Their innocence needs our strength.

Hear their voice. 

Wake up!

We must face that monster fear together.

Enough is enough.

Society’s judgment cannot be worth more than our children’s lives.

Stand together for the children and do not let fear threaten you with expulsion.

Turn around and say I heed the voice of my soul.

You fear, are being expelled from my home. 

This is a house where only love lives.

Love has the ultimate authority.

Love has absolute power.

Love is who and what we are.

 

 

Energy, Faith, Featured, gratitude, Higher Power, Higher self, Hope, Love

Generation Z- We Need You!

March 18, 2021
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 Dear next generation to rule the world, generation “Z”.

If it was up to me, I would dub you generation “Hope”. I would proclaim this not to pressure you but rather to help you rise above. Rise above the limitations of the material world. See past the old 3 dimensional view of the world and into the power of faith and beyond. 

I am not talking religion for that word alone has been anathematized beyond recognition. If you ever want to do a study on society’s illogical emotional responses to words, God and religion would top the list of contentious verbiage. Faith would be up there but still allows some semblance of sanity when used sparingly.

 What a great challenge for us philosophy nerds – are nerds on the endangered list yet?  Can we pinpoint the most prominent words that create the most discomfort and find a way to make them pure again. Not slang or words of hate, just simple descriptive words or names that create irrational responses. 

If any group of people can make this happen I think it is dear generation Z. Why? They don’t know better and know it all like those of us who have ripened. Our darling Zedders have grown up with the intellect of the world at their finger tips. I trust that they  are still willing to try different search engines and engage in thoughts and ideas that go beyond what is being fed to us on tv and social media.

 Oops, I digressed. Sorry! I do that, I am not the easiest writer to follow. Sometimes inside my head is an episode of hoarders and writing is how I declutter- protect yourself :).

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Back to faith: Faith; as I tend to state in numerous blogs, and an inordinate number of times at that, is the opposite of fear. Faith to me is the only organic, drug free tool that successfully combats depression, anxiety, doubt, stress, lethargy and a host of other complex human sufferings. Before I lose you thinking I am attacking science let me explain.

We are made of energy. Scientists (society’s Gods) have stated and proven this to be fact. I have never set foot in a physics class so I will not even attempt to go into detail. However, from what I have experienced and know, all energy has a source. Which means that we as energetic beings must have a source. So if I have an energy source, does it not make profound sense to try and connect to that source? To try and develop the best possible connection to that source with the least interference? Should that source not be where I go when I am feeling depleted? If there is a source from which I am energetically connected, does it not stand to reason that my emotional, intellectual and physical health are attached to it? 

I am not questioning medication as much as I am questioning a world that does not look at holistic and spiritual resources before introducing medicines that have been PROVEN to have other negative health impacts. Especially as it relates to our children. I do not blame anyone, not parents or health care practitioners and especially not the children. It is not about blame, it is about alternatives that societies prejudicial lens has denied or kept hidden. Once again- Generation Z, can you fix this and bring some  open minded collaborative thought and non explosive conversation to the table here? 

I don’t know about you, but I am of the belief that why would I settle for 150 amp service when I can try and connect to 3 phase power. Or better yet, those lithium crystals that powered the Starship Enterprise, or was it dilithium? Scotty would know, or Data. Would that not be the best green juice you ever drank? Just as we cannot see our energy field but we know it is there, we also cannot see our source. This is easy to follow right?

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know that I personally rise and fall based on my energetic health. Physical and emotional energy being the most prominent and obvious. Yes, we can operate at a base level self propelling on will power, but this method is limiting and completely dependant on outside events and other peoples energy to influence us.  If this is all you desire then stay in the basement and watch tv. If however, you wish more from life, then may I suggest you begin your search for your Source. You notice I said “Your” Source. That is because I honestly believe that determining your own beliefs and purpose is the kick ass exciting reason why we walk as individuals on this earth plane. It is your very own crazy adventure to carve out; why not make it the best life your heart/mind can create? 

Faith is trusting in something you cannot see but know without doubt it exists. You have to feel your way into connecting to it and this is where the miracles happen, where your reality begins to change and life flows to the mystic. This life of faith holds greater adventures, greater clarity and greater focus. I used three greater’s in a row just to drive the ego side of me crazy. The perfectionist is sitting in horror screaming you do not even need a thesaurus to find a better word. I love messing with my ego.

So back to dear generation Z. You have access to all the information of which I speak of. You don’t need to have been born to a family of quantum mechanical physicists or even influenced by the teachings of a wise Shaman or mystic or minister or high priestess. I think of myself as the “She-Wolf”; energized by the moon and the stars and the natural cycles of life both in the sky and on earth. Today anyways, tomorrow I might be spreading pixie dust or over analyzing spread sheets. 

The Sage has the wisdom to understand perception. To honour freedom, to seek truth, and to remain committed to the vision even as the world around appears to be crumbling. This is faith and this is knowing. We are energy, connected to source. We are capable of communicating at a higher level and when we grasp all that this means we will come face to face with human exceptionalism. 

I am sort of writing a book on this, but in the meantime my dear generation Zedders, here is why the spiritual realm is worth your attention. You will discover that fear is something you can control. All of these wars, and injustices and even our reaction to covid are  responses steeped in fear. How can we be living in a world of such vast abundance and yet so many people are feeling helpless, unloved and live in poverty? We have been sharing darkness and victimhood when we could have been giving and sharing from our abundance of light and joy. From a vibrational alignment of our choosing.

Joy is your birthright. Our optimum performance is when we are sharing our high vibrational loving energy. The law of attraction is real. What we extend is what we receive. Note this, look around at the extension of fear through tv, then stop and breathe and realize that your happy reality is just an opposite thought away. I am connected to Source, I am limitless and I am eternal because I am energy. I am a conscious bearer of light, I am an energy God that can make a difference by the simple act of sharing the energy of joy, hope and love. I make a difference in this world by holding up a mirror to you and showing you the incredible love and beauty I see inside you. You can do the same for others, it’s our function and it is your truth. 

Faith, Featured, Forgiveness, Hope, Love

This House Divided Will Not Stand

January 11, 2021
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 We the people, human beings, citizens of the world, are heavily divided. For many of us, the November 3rd US presidential election felt like it represented a final frontier; or at least the last stand for this western civilization as we have known it. It did not matter which side you were on, it was the belief that either victor would be the fall of something. That both sides were equally strong in their beliefs that they stood for good, for love, for righteousness.

There is much discussion about the validity of that election. A smoking gun that is not going away. There is too much at stake to just ignore these accusations. Bring this into the open to be healed or risk being engulfed in flames of rage and fury. You are the great democracy, the flagship of the free world. Will you act in accordance with your principles? Or will you dismiss out of disdain and contempt the voices and concerns of tens of millions of your citizens? The world is watching. If there is no truth to the claims, then why would they not want to show without doubt the credibility of the results?

I am a Canadian. Like Americans, Canadians are not all the same. We are East coasters and West coasters. City folk and Country folk. Rich and poor. Positive and negative. Grateful and ungrateful. Believers and non believers. We are all products of our environment. Taking what we are taught and moving through the world seeing through the lens of what we believe. What we experience and who we meet will validate, change, expand or add to those beliefs. Self awareness and intentional observation create expansive thoughts. It becomes more important to know righteousness then to be right. The knowledge and understanding of truth becomes the hidden treasure, not something to stake a win on but something that brings peace and understanding.

My belief is that scientifically I am made of energy. If all energy has a source I want to discover and tap into that source. I believe my life purpose is to follow the energy of Love, that Love is my source and my spirit. I am happiest when I flow with it, extend it, charge in it. That is todays belief, it comes from within. Only I can come up with the belief that works for me. We all have our own little mystery to unfold. With each new clue we change directions, we see different, we believe different, we evolve. I do not believe all the same ideas I believed 20 years ago, it was new puzzle pieces that changed my landscape. So evolution is at play in our world today. A turning point is at hand. What do we believe in? What can we believe in together? Where is our common ground?

The USA was created on principles. Your constitution was a vision of a better world. A free world. A world of hope and opportunity for all people. Is that not beautiful? We The People is such an incredible declaration. Not Wethe Kings and Queens. Not Wethe tyrants. Not Wethe elites but We the People. Now, either you have forgotten or your hearts have changed. Now you stand for your divisions. Identity politics, us vs them. You have lost the WE. Not just you of course, we all have.

Some think the answer lies in a global reset. One world government. I have no say or control over this, so I watch. I watch what is happening in the backyard of my neighbour to the south of me, you hold the hammer. Whats it going to be? A world with many ports for our hearts desire, or assimilation under one rule with no God? Your country does not just get overthis. Right or wrong, which is of course perspective. Right or wrong your healing will never happen without change and forgiveness. You have been dismissing and bullying and contemptuously degrading each other for far too long. We all have. Whether it was planned, instigated or organic does not matter. What matters is will you create an all inclusive vision of tomorrow or will you choose rule by force? I do not think you are the same country tomorrow. The question becomes what will you be? Do you shine the light on what has happened and seek truth with an intent to correct? Or do you continue to divide and separate?

Republicans and Democrats want many of the same things for their children. They want their children to be happy and healthy. They want them to be safe. To be knowledgeable, to have a passion, something that sparks joy. They want them to be kind and caring and many other wonderful things. But then comes religion and politics. Class warfare, culture, judgments. It is most often the judgments that creates our pain and gratitude that relieves it. Our judgments on what someone else thinks and does when we would be so much happier if we focused on our own knitting and created our own joy. I suppose we could argue that point. Its a pretty benign discussion so chances are we would find common ground.

Unlike if we chose to discuss your President Trump or past President Trump. That would be an argument of opinions and a conversation without value. At least as far as what it is we would be trying to accomplish. Such a conversation holds only one intention, the satisfaction of the ego. Who is right and who is wrong. A conversation of which there can be no ending. The goal of establishing right and wrong for the satisfaction of the ego will never accomplish what it sets out to do. A conversation however that sets out to establish a solution is one worth having. It is here that we can work toward a common goal. It is here where the ego loses its grip on our senses and our heart mind becomes the director.

I am choosing this. Choosing to seek only enlightenment. Arguing in the cesspool makes no sense to me anymore, it just makes me ill. It creates stress and it divides in ways that destroy our joy. Creating a vision, the search for common ground, this is where solutions and peace will be found. Not trying to control another by force. Not out screaming and slandering. Not holding each other in contempt.

Do you ever stop and wonder what is happening within our hearts? When did the rules of war and battle take precedence over the rule of heart, of what it means to be a loving sentient being? This is not who we are, we are better than this. This is not an evolved society, this is mob rule. Century upon century of trying to control. When do we get it right? When do we follow our hearts, forgive and start working together? When do we stop listening to those who wish to divide us? Those who want us at war and keep us in the dark are the ones who enjoy the spoils of war. Establishing a new way where everyone wins and no one need suffer involves focusing on solutions not divisions.

This new world that is upon us. It could be so beautiful. Food, shelter, hope for everyone. An offering and opportunity of abundance. Free Will, free will to love and create as we were meant to. Something I have loved all of my life. A reminder that we are one consciousness, that when you hurt so do I. When you suffer, so do I. When you know joy and Love, so do I. Its a statement that resonates with me, its very American and incredibly wise and beautiful. It starts out We The People……..It offers hope and it believes in happiness. Attach that document to the energy of Love. Unconditional, non judgmental, kind, caring and forgiving. Add the free will, listen to each other with an intent to solve rather than a desire to win and be right. The world is watching, the world is waiting on you, the great hope, the epitome of freedom and democracy. The land where We The People……..said we will not be ruled over by the material man anymore. Enlightenment. The vision of what is possible when you unite under Truth and Love.

Faith, Featured, Forgiveness, Hope, Love

Did We Forget?

October 23, 2020
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When I created this banner last April I never dreamed we would have come this far in relinquishing our freedoms. I honestly believed we would see through the machinations of fear. I thought the lessons of Hitler and WW2 would have been enough to keep us vigilant whilst we stood on guard for freedom. But fear is powerful and hard to recognize under its cloak of deceit.

As time brings us closer to Remembrance Day, I find my heart filling with remorse. They fought for our freedom and we have not honoured our promise to maintain and protect it. I have begun to wonder why people bought poppies for all of these years: Was it just for appearances? Why have we stood in silence honouring those that risked and lost their lives for our freedom if we do not cherish it? I guess it is perception. I guess all these years as I stood in silence my mind was filled with thoughts that were different from others. There is no blame in that statement, no right or wrong, it is simply the freedom of acknowledging truth. We all perceive the world through our own lens. I thought freedom was something that stirred and mattered in all of our hearts. I thought exacting power and control over others by force was what we fought against, not what we celebrated. 

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You have the right to choose, the right to your own self determination, your own autonomy. In the context of so many of your favourite causes you would agree with that statement. Be it woman’s rights, your body, gender preference or loving who you love. So how can it be that those who so strongly believe in freedom of choice just placed a caveat upon it. A caveat that stipulates only if they agree with or care about the issue. Perhaps it is not freedom of choice but rather a world where everyone lives according to the same beliefs. A strange kind of world where we celebrate diversity and culture because we are not racists, but we abhor thought that does not go along with our own.

Where have we seen that world before? What could possibly go wrong when one segment of society determines the highest good for all? Was it kindness or arrogance that created the residential schools in Canada? Was it prudence or fear that made us build internment camps? While today we are building government isolation centres and stocking up on riot gear do you not wonder if we will ever evolve? When will we ever learn? Every atrocity and every war stems from our desire to exact power and control over another. We are reacting to fear. It is why we want power.

It is said, a  house divided will not stand. We are so terribly divided right now and our house is risking collapse if we do not find common ground. Or do you not want that? Do I no longer matter because my beliefs are in opposition to yours? Does the collapse of this house appeal to you? Once again, there is no judgment, no right and wrong. You keep choosing to judge me and never to hear me. I just ask you understand what our collapse means. We may not all survive it. I don’t want to see you suffer, I hope you feel the same for me.

The March of the Mask

The March of the Mask

I have a child’s wooden shoe that my Grandfather brought home from the Netherlands at the end of WW2. I keep wondering why I hold onto that shoe. The horrors behind it represents the pain of millions of souls. Maybe in some ways that shoe represented my Grandfathers holiness to me.That child who died in the streets was his reason for fighting, he was willing to give up his life to stop the evil that would harm our children. Barely outside of childhood himself when he went to war. That shoe also represents our brokenness, our fearfulness each time we point that gun at our brothers and sisters.

And there is the answer to my discomfort. I want to hold the world in contempt for what we have done. For spitting on their graves and saying our freedom does not matter. My Grandfather and his brothers and sisters, they faced real fear. They faced grenades and tanks and guns. They faced cold and disease. They faced hatred and evil. They faced all these things for our right to live in freedom. And now I am told freedom does not matter. I am told a flu like virus is apocalyptic and nothing I hold sacred matters. Yet the casualties of the battle cry far far outweigh the threat for the overwhelming majority of the population. We are destroying our country, our freedom and our children’s future over a narrative that never materialized. Yet people keep clinging to it even though we can see the monster is just a shadow of our fear. 

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I don’t have the pedigree to satisfy your judgment of me. But I hold a vision and I see another  way. It involves truth and forgiveness, a whole lot of forgiveness. It means we stop arguing in the cesspool and we start building in the light. We focus on solutions that speak for everyone. We focus on hope and possibilities. Dreams like maybe less consumerism, less stuff but also fewer working hours. More time for personal fulfillment, for our children, for helping others. More walks in nature so we need less medication. Less divisiveness and judgment between secular and faithful and more seeking to understand. Listening to and following our higher selves. What about seeking truth instead of victory. What about gratitude instead of entitlement. What if we worried less about what our neighbours did wrong and focused on cleaning up our own back yards? Dreams, these are just some of my dreams. They are not things for me to force upon another, they are part of a conversation. They are just dreams, visions and ideas. They are creations and they are my purpose. To create from love not react to fear.

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Please, buy the poppy because they deserve to be honoured and never forgotten. But before  you place it on your breast, ask yourself if you want the next generation to be able to live as freely as you have. Choose wisely for there are children who need us to start putting them first. Children who have borne the brunt of our fears. Todays seniors were the children of those who fought Hitler. They have benefited from those freedoms all their lives. Don’t let that legacy end with them suffering in loneliness and their grandchildren and great grandchildren sacrificing their childhoods and their future on an altar of fear. The experts were completely wrong in their apocalyptic predictions about the disease: But the propagandists were bang on in their assessment of our behaviour when motivated by fear.

Oh Canada, are you still the true north strong and free? Is anyone still standing on guard for thee? 

Faith, Featured, Higher Power, Hope, Love

Love Made Tangible

May 29, 2020
Sunrise on the St. Lawrence river. May 29, 2020

A small snippet from my labour of love play:  The Wino, The Witch and The Writer.

This is an abridged version of Love Made Tangible

If there is nothing more, then we are nothing more. We are nothing!
 How can it be anything else?
How can it be just an overwhelming collection of stuff? A walk in a Forrest of Fear.
Will I lose this?  Will I miss this?  Will I not be well?
What if? Oh, how I despise what if’s!
 The party is wonderful until the money and wine run out. When the body screams no more and the mind is mangled and twisted in knots of guilt and apprehension. Fear that tomorrow will be something, something other than what we directed. And it will, for we have no control.
No control over the weather, over the elements. No control over the unexpected events.  
 Them, those people that ruined it, those people who did not walk and behave as they were directed, expected. They should have known better, they should have listened, they should have followed our lead.
 How can it be anything else? If there is nothing more than why bother?
Why care how I got stuff?
Why care who I hurt, because you said it was wrong?
If there is nothing more, then tomorrow is nothing but another day to gather more stuff.
Another day to blame “them”.
If there is nothing more, then life is a race shaped by past and future years and not as present and eternal.
 NO! I am alive and I am a brilliant energy!
I am dizzy with a desire to touch and breathe and see and taste.
I am alive and I will to give this gift of all gifts the honour it deserves.
I am alive and I can take each mind-altering emotion and immerse my soul into its lesson.
I am alive and my goal, of all goals, beyond any possession or moment of fame fortune and glory, beyond all else is to embrace Love.
To embrace, know, be, give, immerse and lie in this thing called Love.
I am alive and while I have this gift of life on earth,
I am Love made tangible.
Faith, Featured, Higher Power, Hope, Love

When The Spirit Of A Child Dances…….

November 17, 2019
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Lessons I am learning from a life hard lived….

Each time we impart our biased visions on our children. Visions as to who they are and what a proper life looks like. We are setting up a road block on their journey of self determination. 

Self determination is one of the most powerful gifts we can offer our children. Encouraging and helping them learn to love all aspects of themselves. A very critical component in navigating life with a positive disposition and a joyous heart. Loving ourselves is how we learn to accept and love others in the same open minded and compassionate way.

Our perceived need to control who our children become is our own battle with fear; with society’s judgments. These are the things that create depression and anxiety. The disharmony within that stifles the natural needs of the soul. 

Don’t we all need to explore and discover what our own unique peace and happiness look like?

What a wonderful gift to be alive in this time period. We no longer need to be narrow minded to survive. We can afford to be expansive so we can fly. 

We have the luxury of less strife and more time to teach love, kindness and compassion. Spark curiosity and encourage imagination. Show them inner strength and offer them safety and security in love; not material possessions. Faith in a love that is greater than our fears is essential. Encourage them to explore the physical, emotional and spiritual Source of their energy.

The most personal and important questions we will ever ask ourselves is who am I and why am I here? The mystery of life, the magic and the miracles all stem from the search for those answers.

Inform your children about all of the theories you have heard and tell them about what you believe. But why limit their search to the little box that was drawn for you? Encourage them to find their peak potential and satisfaction by searching for that Higher Love. God, Source energy, the Universe, Higher Power- Whatever nourishes their Higher Selves. Just the knowledge that all life is sacred and they are a light that needs to shine. Shine away the darkness with positive thoughts and energy.  

Stop letting fear foster the message of who you want your child to be. Open your heart and let them show you how beautifully they dance to the beat of their own spirit. When we allow everyone to operate according to their own blueprint – their own will: We may discover that our uniqueness operating at peak performance; in tandem with others; creates the luminous and vibrant coloured world we have been searching for. 

Faith, Featured, Forgiveness, Higher Power, Hope, Love

Why We Must Forgive

October 19, 2019
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Why We Must Forgive- Thoughts born from my search for truth and my learnings from  A Course In Miracles.

I keep hearing the call for a brave new way of doing things. This next  generation has not only a very strong desire for transformation; they have unlimited access to far reaching methods of communication. Their ability to advance the tides of change must not be underestimated.

However, change for the sake of change is no cause for celebration. To leave their mark on this world, or at least the mark I am sure they desire, there must be vision. Is that vision vengeance or is it peace?  We must not ignore the sense of entitlement and victimhood that has permeated their human experience. The faithless fearful teachings of the thought police. Their intentions are good but their perspective is limited. Will they follow the fear- the desire for power and control? Or will they see beyond and focus on kindness, the free will and rights of everyone to live a life of self determination- Will they lead from love?

I see a world that at times appears overly anxious to condemn anyone for thoughts and ideals. A world where the pendulum has been  swinging to extremes. The plethora of issues we are attempting to solve through intimidation all have a common thread. We are attempting to battle fear without faith; yet faith is the opposite of fear. Before we attempt to invoke change, we need to address the genesis of our fragmentation.

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We cannot continue to carry the actions of our ancestors (our past) into our future and expect to find peace while we hold onto anger. We cannot judge from todays perspective what we did not live, and expect to uncover truth. Why do we continue to hold one another in contempt? We seek punishment like the freedom from our suffering depends on it. It does not.

The healing of the world looks the same as the healing of our individual souls. We must remove the heavy armour of victimhood and adorn ourselves in the light of forgiveness. We forgive each other and we forgive ourselves. Not the act, which may have been unforgivable; but we forgive the mistaken hearts and minds so they hold no power over us. In forgiveness we free ourselves from the heavy burden of carrying this hopeless and wretched pain. The toxic poison of anger and resentments will bring the death of freedom and joy without the antidote. The antidote is Forgiveness. 

How far back do we go? Injustices have occurred since the beginning of time. How is demanding restitution from generations once, twice, or many more times removed advancing our evolution? We cannot change the past, we cannot find our salvation punishing the innocent children of the perpetrators and call it justice. 

Until we forgive, we will remain at war. Tortured and lost souls seeking freedom from our suffering in darkness. The light is in us, but we refuse to shine it. How crazy is that?

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Fear insists we follow its narrative that salvation is in punishment. Why does it drive us relentlessly seeking vindication.? Our ego desperate to hear the words we were wronged. I get it, I completely understand the perceived need, but at what cost? We sacrifice years of our lives, in some cases our whole life waiting for that day. Just to hear someone publicly say they were wrong? The acknowledgment that what happened was indeed horrendous, or not our fault, or ugly and wrong in every conceivable way? And yes I say to all of that, except for the fact that without forgiveness our lives are lost a second time to victimhood. Victimhood- The ruthless sword of vengeance that we unwittingly turn upon ourselves.

In addition to our own salvation, forgiveness offers healing and protection to the world. For without forgiveness, the unforgiven will become the helpless, the loveless and the hopeless. A world without hope and love is a world in fear. Only from fear do atrocities occur. Only from fear do we turn off our own light and bring darkness to our hearts. Only from fear do we place our future in the hands of an ego in search of retribution.

As I discovered In miraculous fashion; “The truth will set us free.“ It’s not about hearing the truth spoken out in words, but learning to honour and embrace the truth in and of itself. In what at times appears to be an unspiritual world, we must find the faith to let it go. Let God, Karma, the Universe or whatever faith you can reach out to (please tell me you have faith in something) let that faith mete out justice. Let the God of your understanding decide how, when, and to whom the truth makes its presence known. Turning the other cheek makes profound sense to me now. We must speak the truth and communicate the wrong. If that does not bring forth resolution then act from integrity, forgive and walk away. Knowing without doubt, that the truth will come out in time. In Divine time. As it is meant to and in the most poignant and unimaginable fashion. With the magnitude and certainty of a revelation.

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What if we forgave all these past injustices? What if we forgave all the evil from our history? Genocides, slavery, internments, and confiscations. The brutal acts against humanity. All the heinous crimes that happened. We acknowledge the evil of the acts, we acknowledge that we are not those acts. We acknowledge the fear driven lessons then surrender our need to hold onto the pain. What does a world forgiven look like?  

It looks like you and I starting over on uncorrupted innocent ground. A haven where we have no walls of distrust between us. No judgments and no hate. We have no desire for control, no battle raging. We are meeting again for the first time; no labels and no preconceived ideas. We meet in the light and not the darkness. Freedom from the bitterness and anguish of our past. In this moment, we are accepted, respected and loved. What every human soul has ever longed for. That churning incessant ache within has been filled with hearts united in acceptance, respect and love.

 

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So this brave new world our children are creating. My dream is that they do what we could not. That they silence the incessant howling of fear and face it’s toothless jaws. Society has been spreading the seeds of doubt for far too long. Let’s plant new fields of hope and grow this big, beautiful, wondrous new world with love; but let’s call the cornerstone forgiveness.

 

Wendy Rae is a life long seeker of truth and author of the newly released book – You Are Not The Boss Of Me. A memoir based on her chaotic journey of survival and faith through the hormonal bookends of life.

***Available on Amazon- Please note, I will soon be adding my middle name Lee changing all publications to Wendy Lee Rae. If you are unable to find my book under Wendy Rae please be aware I am in the process of change. There is another Wendy Rae author and I wish to avoid confusion. See, change is inevitable so embrace it with love and make it good. I have always liked my middle name and now I get to use it.

 

Faith, Featured, Higher Power, Hope, Love, Uncategorised

Outing myself

December 20, 2018
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I am struggling with this piece. In my heart the story is poignant and beautiful. Moving it to words it becomes cumbersome and fearful. It is of course my lifetime of fear over the subject that makes this so difficult.

I am finally coming to terms with being gay. I find it incredibly awkward stepping out of a closet I have never set foot in. Perhaps I will borrow a term from the younger crowd and call this the “pre “. I don’t like labels and I never understood the need to announce it. Yet here I am announcing that I am looking into and stepping out of the proverbial closet.

Why? What insanity has caused me to do this? Aside from the fact many knew before I did. It’s so I can finally live.  So I stop trying to manufacture romances that will never work. So I can finally just breathe and laugh and say “Yup, it’s true, It only took me 4 decades to figure it out.”  I admit, I am very much afraid of all of this. I keep wanting to add a “but”or a “maybe”. Of course I can change my mind, but it’s exhausting to keep trying to create substance from illusions.  I need to know that whenever true love calls (You will note I am saying when and not if) I won’t miss it because it doesn’t fit my vision of what I think it should look like. I also need to stop going out to parties and dances pretending I am someone else (Insert funny night cap joke here.)

As a child, it was the words of hate shouted on the playground and reiterated through the mouthes of adults that helped mold my view of myself. Maybe not who I was, but certainly I heard and understood who I did not want to be.

I used to believe it was a choice. As a teenager and then young woman I chose not to be. Why choose to be something the world did not embrace. Something awkward. That was not the type of attention that was going to give me the feeling of belonging that I longed for.

Holding me back even more was the question of sin. I could never resolve what this God in my heart willed for me. As I look back I can honestly say this was my biggest hurdle. The God in my youth had loved me and held me through some troubling times. As a child there was no doubt in my mind of his existence. That relationship began to change in my mid to late teens. It was the beginning of my hidden walk of shame. I buried my uncomfortable secret deep within me. I began building the walls and donning the armour. I would not be this terrible thing and I would not let God down. Of course it did not work. I could never completely escape my truth. I had to let God go, which in turn meant turning my back on love and God.

After decades of living my life like it was a choice, I can finally say without question it is not a choice. This is who I am. I tried, and believe me when I say “Lord” knows I tried. I lived obliviously from 15 – 55 trying to find myself in everything but love. Fiercely competitive I loved winning, mastering sports made me feel good about me. Driven in business, promotions made me feel good. Building a business, that made me feel ever so good. I am self sufficient, I can help others, I am in control. Self will and strength. I was giving. Always trying to give joy and comfort and money. Passion to fill that hole inside me was incessant, except I never knew what to fill that hole with. Never knowing or understanding love beyond friends and family. Motherly and brotherly. I never saw the power and the beauty that were to be found in the highest loves and the most vulnerable loves. Life was ever so big to me, but romantic love seemed like a little side dish for the weak if so desired. I never saw my refusal to receive as an indicator of how unworthy I truly felt. I was running from the immense pain of my inner turmoil. No Eros and no Agape.

I was 50 the first time as an adult I realized I was attracted to a woman. It was not physical but rather a very deep connection on a soul level. I believed it was Divinely inspired and it was the impetus for massive wholesale changes in my life. First and foremost was reconnecting with the God In my heart. Second was the beginning of a journey to learn to love and honour myself. The healing that took  place in my heart and soul manifested in my physical and mental health. Shockingly so. The speed in which the changes came was unfathomable. Friends and family alike were staring in disbelief. It was nothing short of a miracle and I will never forget or turn my back on those truths again. I was being given a second chance and I was not going to let it go to waste.

 

We are all made of energy. Everything changed when I saw the connection and followed the source of joy. The bulk of the visual changes took 5 months. I was not focused on my looks, I was being carried in Divine love.

 

Inspired by all of these changes I wrote a book about my life and spoke about this event in a chapter titled “The Intervention”.  When I launched the book in 2016 I was still pretty sure that I was not gay and my feelings for that woman were solely for the purpose of learning to love myself. My feelings subsided as I knew they would. Needing to protect the anonymity of the woman who was an innocent bystander in my book I knew I had to talk to her about it. Whether or not she ever spoke of it made no difference. What mattered is I could now honestly say to those asking – She knows and that’s all that matters.

I began applying the principles of living from love and searching for my higher self in every situation. I desired truth and connection, yes I use that crazy term “what would love do”? What I often shunned as a weakness I learned to embrace as the worlds most powerful force. Love was winning the battle with my ego, fear was beginning to fade.

However, if you thirst for truth, the lessons never stop coming.  Just when I thought I had shed all of my heavy armour and was truly starting to feel whole and healed, it happened again. Another woman captured my heart sending me swirling into months of solitude and confusion. Leading up to that I had dated three different men, all of whom matched a different vision I had for what my soul mate might be like. None of whom were able to fill any sense of romance or excitement in my heart. How perfectly positioned it all was. Everything I thought I desired was placed before me. What sent butterflies from my soul was that which I still tried to deny.

I spent this past year soul searching. My biggest obstacle in being able to embrace being in love with a woman was not so much the opinion of society. It was and always would be, how could I resolve this with the God of my youth. I had to go back 40 years and understand the fear and the feelings or beliefs of right and wrong. I had to look at sin and my renewed faith and ask how do I resolve the conflict. Is this my ego or my soul? Is this real truth and knowledge or is it brainwashing and fear? I could not find comfort in asking others for there was only one place I would accept the answer from.

I sat in broken vulnerability for many months. Loves immense power was written all over my shattered heart. I had never felt so lost. I wanted to turn my back on it, so tempted was I to go back to my old ways. For all of its power and beauty, love hurt and I needed to make it go away. If I dismiss these feelings and make love irrelevant or this person a villain I don’t have to suffer this pain.  I was acutely aware of the hole within me. Acknowledging  I had to fill this on my own but to try and do it without the tools of the ego I had relied on my whole life. I had to learn to be whole completely on my own and allow myself to love. Numb would have been easier. Running, dismissing, ignoring and self medicating all offered themselves to me. I had come to far to give up and go back to my old ways. If I wanted a different result I had to do life different.  Somehow, even in sorrow I managed to let love remain.

 

A lesson in love

A lesson in love

In the midst of my months of soul searching I made a visit to my favourite spot at the lake. There on a boulder next to my bench lay a little rock  with the words “Be filled” painted on it. I was so taken aback by the timeliness and perfection of the message, it made me cry. They were strong tears, tears of knowledge that the universe was sending me love. Sadly, my ego did not let me keep that rock. It instantly went to the thought that I should leave it for someone who really needs it. Like I did not?  I took a picture and left the rock. My refusal to receive mirrored my greatest obstacle to love. Love makes me vulnerable and I didnt know how to live with that. This powerful piece in the puzzle that is life. This opened my eyes to just how much fear I had attached to love.

Being filled is a life long journey. I once heard somebody say they tried to fill this God sized hole with everything but God.  I realized that my healing begins and ends with faith. Since I have now established deep in my heart that this is not a choice I can finally accept my Divine design. I was created this way. I thought about this God of my understanding. This mysterious loving power that had saved me and opened my eyes to love. I realized there is no way he would place me on earth and say…..Go live your life and love, but understand you will never be capable of knowing love without going against me. No God of love would do that. So I began to start trying to accept all of me without the guilt or shame.

Even though profoundly aware of my inability to choose who I fell in love with, I was still not able to let go and take this leap of faith. I had been asking and praying to God and my Mother in heaven for some type of sign to tell me it was okay. That I was on the right path as it related to love. That I may find love in this body in this lifetime. Dimes, feathers and eagle sightings were not enough. I needed more or I would never find peace.

In October I was at an event where a medium was sharing messages from spirit. Full disclosure, I do know her but she certainly had no knowledge about my prayers. As the event was winding down, and after watching her touch on so many uncanny truths with others. Out of the blue she said “Wendy, I have a message from your Mother. She says you are on the right path and Divine time is soon.”  The earth moved. To receive the answer for the question I had been asking God in quiet prayer. To hear it worded in the words I used. The magnitude of that moment is still holding me off the ground. I finally found peace, permission to know and embrace whatever love held my heart.

The freedom, and the joy and the relief have been cathartic. How bright does the light shine when you have lived in the dark for 40 years. When you have been searching and finally see what it is you have been searching for.

When you learn to love and believe in yourself for who you are, and not who you think you should be- You will know joy. I spent many years unconsciously trying to trade myself for a better version of me. I may not have wanted to be anyone else, but I did try to be the version of me I thought the world would accept. Not today. Today I am happily making peace with my soul. I feel more powerful in my vulnerability then I ever did in my ego. Although I can’t say I embrace the lessons of unrequited love, especially when I have waited a lifetime to feel butterflies in my stomach. I can say that I believe in miracles, Divine time, and destiny. I found courage, hope and love growing from the wounds in my heart. My life has felt blessed and magical ever since I chose to accept, to receive, to be filled.

My next book still in the works is presently titled Birthing God

Agape- Love and light

Wendy