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Faster, Stronger, @ Silken Laumann

February 4, 2018

Race Day- New gloves to help with the calluses.

It’s called Erging, that’s what the rowers do for dry land training, they erg. I have been erging for almost a month now, slowly building stamina and mastering my technique. The calluses on my hands make this real. Real like I could walk around St. Catharine’s during the Royal Canadian Henley Regatta and ask people if they have seen my crew.

There are only two erging machines at the fitness club I joined, so I question if I should share this. What if the other women start to discover the joy of erging? I am not sure how I feel about having to wait my turn to get my erg on. Just me and my moving vision board. Close those eyes, put the play list on shuffle and live it. Rowing on the St Laurence, home of 1000 islands and dreaming which one will be my retreat and who will be there waiting for me? Fabio?  Perhaps a road trip to the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna BC?

In my head while Erging I think I have won at least 10 Olympic gold medals. Two of them were in doubles rowing although I am not sure if the young woman next to me was aware that we won. She did tell me her name is NOT Marnie McBean or Kathleen Heddle. She also had no idea what I was talking about when I mentioned I wanted to be the Silken Laumann of Erging. I have decided to tone it down on the rowing lingo. I told one woman she would catch a crab with that stroke and I am not sure she has been back to the gym since.

When I am not erging for gold, I erg for me. Yes I love my country but I have learned you cannot give from an empty cup. Solo erging is more about the breathing and the music. It is heart centred and can be quite spiritual. I call it insperging and hope to offer certification classes once I feel I have mastered it. Insperging involves placing your hopes, dreams, desires at the end of your row. Whether it is career, health, love or healing you bring it to the boat. Put on your music, take a few deep breaths, think about heart centred joy. Close your eyes and imagine each stroke is bringing you closer to your dreams. Here, in this moment. Quiet, powerful, unlimited love and abundance.

Next thing you know, 30 minutes is done and you are ready for Disco Circuit Training or Clubbing It with weights. As your personal empowerment coach I will take you Himalayan stair climbing or La Tour de France seat cycling. When I think you are ready I will introduce you to the treadmill twist and shout.

It’s all in our heads and our hearts. You can go “work “out , or you can go create your dreams. What are you insperging for? Put that music on shuffle and don’t stop until you hear the right song to bring you home. Erg baby Erg, you got this.

 

 

Faith, Featured, Hope

Dear Daughter

February 1, 2018
    Best Mothers Day Ever!
Best Mothers Day Ever!

Best Mothers Day Ever!

Dear Daughter,

You are away at university. My little girl, my greatest gift. As much as I was excited to watch you spread your wings and fly, I was not ready for what that meant to me. I miss your energy, I truly, truly do. I do not wallow in any pain or sadness, it is just the realization that I need to up my game plan and fix that energy void.

I think of what I have taught you over the years and it hits me hard. I will never forget the day I was worried you might be hurt by some words in my book. you said to me “Mom, you do you and I’ll do me.” Wow, I thought I was the teacher; yet you brought me the lesson. In you I have changed and in me you have grown, how amazing is that? Over the course of the last 5 years I have  drastically changed my perspective on life. What I have lived, what I have read, what I have witnessed. With an open heart these things finally sunk in. So in this moment of truth and clarity, it occurs to me there are things I said or did when you were young that I wish to ask you to un-learn. I have no doubt, you probably already have as you are quite clever. But just in case, I need to say this. It might actually help me up the energy vibe I miss so much.

Fear:

If when I taught you to be careful I made you fearful, then please un-learn that now. Fear is the biggest monster you will ever encounter. It freezes you, it controls you, it makes you mean and it robs you of your joy. Do not let fear run your life for it will limit you. It will keep you from pursuing your dreams and finding your purpose. Remember there is no such thing as “What If,” there is only “What is.”

Acceptance:

You must accept where you are but never accept that you cannot change where you are or how you feel about it.  If I caught you too many times when you were falling, I apologize. I realize now that you must fall so you know how to get back up. We all must fall sometimes. It is here we start to truly understand humility. It is here we truly learn to be accepting, loving and gracious of others.

This is acceptance. You are here and want to be over there. Accept where you are and then choose to go forward. You cannot change how you arrived but you can change where you go next. Make sure you lighten the load and go forward in the direction of your choosing. Do not bring guilt and regret along for this next leg, leave them behind and carry only love. Love for you, for others and for what you do. There is nothing that lightens the load more than love.

Integrity:

Making the right choice is of you, it is in you. The right choice is not what you want the world to see of you, it is of you. Integrity is the easiest thing in the world to have, but sometimes it feels so hard to implement. I think everyone has integrity, it is the degrees of fear that make the difference between living with it, or without it. Do not be fearful of making the right choice, for it is only fear that will take you in the wrong direction. The right choice is easy, the answer is immediately in you. Go with what your intuition tells you, it is always right. If your intuition tells you not to go there, that is not fear talking, that is truth. But if fear tells you to lie, you will feel the discomfort and it is there the troubles will begin. Your integrity is intuitive, they blend together seamlessly. A life built on integrity will allow you to walk with courage and grace, not because you are trying to project it, but because it will be your truth.

Truth:

When you are uncertain in your decisions, use truth as your  guiding light.  Truth is not about showing the world you are right, it is about quietly learning what is right. Truth is knowing when to lead and when to follow. It is when to speak and when to listen. Truth is that you have no control over anything except your own actions and emotions. Your entire life will revolve around truth whether you are consciously looking or not. For it is in truth that life will make sense and give you joy. Truth will hit you hard on the head or bowl you over from behind if you try to ignore it. Truth will not go away and you can never hide it. EVER!  If you put truth at the forefront of all of your actions, than never will it hurt you. If you choose to make it your guiding light, than even when you err, you will have won. For in that mistake you will have found something you were searching for.

Hope:

There is always hope as there are always miracles. By you being you. By living and loving and seeking all of the beauty and gifts in this life, you will inspire hope. By using the abundant energy that pulses in your being, you will be a conduent of hope. Hope infuses and ignites, it soothes and hydrates. Breathe hope into the world and it will never let you down. It will shine back at you in glorious magnificence.

Faith:

Get to know faith as intimately as you know yourself. In fact, faith will help you find out who you truly are if you trust it. Call it your higher self, higher power, God or the universe or whatever. Just know that there is something connected to your spirit that knows and loves you unconditionally. Something that will lift you up and guide you through things when no human power ever could.

You have no control so stop worrying. Do the next right thing and let go of the outcome. Faith is knowing that this is happening for you and not to you.  That forgiveness and healing can be given and received in the moments when the fire has never seemed more out of control. Fear will never enter when you know that you are safe.  Carry this always, for it will escort you through the darkest hours and allow you to grow joy from the least fertile of soils.  In faith you will be fearless. You will not know depression nor will you be anxious. You will have the knowledge that everything is as it is meant to be. You will have infinite courage.

You, your friends, your generation. You excite and inspire me. You do not appear to be judgmental or reactionary. I believe that in all of you is an opportunity to bring forgiveness to the world and let the healing begin. That is it, isn’t it? Time we stop punishing each other for yesterday, time to let go of victimhood and pain- I don’t want this pain anymore, let it go! Time to begin anew with complete world forgiveness. Like the words you once said to me. “Mom, you do you and I’ll do me. “  Let’s stop trying to do each other. Stop trying to control one another, stop punishing one another, stop judging one another. You do you and I’ll do me and lets just move forward in love and forgive all of that stuff in the past. All that stuff we had nothing to do with, or never intended, or misunderstood, or wrongly judged. All that stuff we cannot change. Lets just all focus on fixing ourselves. You do you and I’ll do me and tomorrow will be bigger and brighter and more beautiful than we ever imagined. We will be free of guilt, free of anger, free of resentments and ready to love.

Wow, I just cannot believe all of the things you have taught me. Imagine all of this from “You do you and I’ll do me.”

Love you,

Mom

Featured, Hope

Hope

February 15, 2016
Life beginning on wasteland

Hope is ever powerful. Poor is the one who is living without it and rich is the one who is filled with it. We can have it, we can need it and we can give it. Hope can be granted in an instant and removed in a flash. When administered externally it can be deceptive and false, but when it is consumed internally it can cure the deepest wounds.

Hope is not an extra $20 on a welfare cheque, it is a job and all of the possibilities that come with it. It is not the instant relief of a pain killer, it is the uncovering of the problem so a plan to go forward can be made. Hope is believing, it is knowing in your heart that tomorrow will be better. It is always knowing that you have something to give, that you have control of you.

We can wish for a cure, for better financial circumstances, for world peace, but that is wishing and it fills your mind not your soul. True hope needs believing, you need to believe you are on the road to wellness, to better days, to internal peace. A wish can be granted in the form of instant gratification…Look, here is an unexpected hundred dollars but wishing is an I want where hope is everlasting.

My desire is to build a blog that inspires hope. I want this to be a place filled with possibilities and positive energy. Some days I may write a mini novel, other days just a thought. But I am building, and that fills me with hope.